Inertia
by stonecold13
Summary: Inertia is the property of an object to remain constant in velocity unless acted upon by an outside force. In this case, Hermione’s life is running smoothly until after a series of unfortunate events…a certain slytherin comes along and throws her life com
1. Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Disclaimer: I do not own any of this

Summary: **Inertia** is the property of an object to remain constant in velocity unless acted upon by an outside force. In this case, Hermione's life is running smoothly until after a series of unfortunate events…a certain slytherin comes along and throws her life completely out of balance, now she has to suffer the consequences…

Rated T for language

Ch 1- Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

Hermione Granger was just about ready to tear her ears off. She couldn't stand it anymore. Every night, she was forced to listen to Lavender Brown, Parvati Patil, and the rest of the Gryffindor 6th year girl giggle about who they had 'shagged' in a broom closet earlier that day. Hermione put her pillow over her bushy head in a pitiful attempt to muffle their high-pitched, obnoxious voices. Suddenly, she felt an unfamiliar weight next to her.

"Guess what we heard Hermione?" Lavender giggled. Hermione rolled her eyes indifferently…as if she cared.

"What, Lav?"

"Well Padma told Parvati, who's friends with Hannah, who heard from Justin, who talked to Terry, who was told by Marcus, who said he saw you staring at a certain Slytherin," Lavender replied slyly.

Hermione froze. It couldn't be! She had tried to make it as discreet as possible…apparently not discreet enough. She did the only thing that came to mind.

"What are you talking about?" Hermione asked confusedly. 'Just play innocent,' she thought.

"You know what we're talking about," Parvati accused. "You totally have a crush on Draco Malfoy!"

Hermione sighed in relief…as if. "Parvati, you have got to be kidding me. If Gandhi hated anyone, it would be him. Malfoy is absolutely the most horrible, disgusting git on the face of the earth."

"Hermione! You totally have a thing going with him, you guys fight all the time!" one of the other girls said.

"Yeah, that's like saying oil and water mix." Hermione scoffed.

"Don't they?" Lavender tilted her head stupidly.

"No." She said bluntly. "Now, go to sleep. We have classes tomorrow."

"Whatev."

Hermione turned on her side and away from the girls. They almost had her there for a moment! She did have a crush on a Slytherin, but his name was CERTAINLY not Draco Malfoy. It was, in fact, Adrian Pucey. Hermione was attracted to him in the first place because he had fairly decent grades and, unlike the rest of his classmates, didn't pick on her constantly. He was decent looking, with curly brown hair and sea green eyes. Hermione often stole glances at him during class when she was sure no one was looking, and she was right. Hermione cleared her thoughts and soon drifted off to sleep.

"Hermione, wake up!!" She felt herself being shaken awake by Parvati. She shrugged her off.

"Five more minutes…"

"Your alarm clock didn't ring! We only have ten minutes 'til class!" Parvati cried.

"Bugger!!" Hermione leaped out of bed, knocking Parvati down in the process.

"Hey!"

"Sorry!!" Hermione quickly ran to the bathroom and brushed her teeth. She didn't have time to take a shower that morning. Instead, she threw her hair up in a pathetic excuse for a ponytail. She pulled on her robes, grabbed her book bag, and ran out the door hoping to get a bit of breakfast before her first class.

"Mione! You forgot your shoes!" Lavender called behind her.

"Shit!" Hermione turned around and stepped into her shoes and ran out the door. She sprinted through the halls and as she passed through the Great Hall, she grabbed a half-bitten muffin from the Hufflepuff table. She was two corridors away from the dungeon when the bell sounded off noisily. Hermione quickly finished her 'early morning workout' and burst through Snape's door.

"You're late Ms. Granger," Snape drawled coldly.

"I'm sorry Professor but-" Hermione started.

"20 points from Gryffindor." Hermione glared at him and took her seat in between her two best friends, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley. She knew better then to argue with Professor Snape, who took points off Gryffindor every chance he got. She heard Malfoy snigger from across the room and glared at him fiercely.

"Turn your books to page 722. Today, you will be working on the draught of death. Can anyone tell me what this potion does?" Snape sneered. Hermione's hand shot up.

"Anyone at all?" Snape asked, looking over Hermione's hand as if it wasn't there. And, if possible, her hand went up even higher.

"Yes, Ms. Granger?"

"Draught of Death is a potion that, when you drink it, gives you the appearance to be dead. It's thought to be a muggle potion because it was mentioned in the play Romeo & Juliet when Friar Laurence gives the potion to Juliet." Hermione recited.

"And how long do the effects last?" Snape questioned further.

"As long as you want them to." Hermione replied without missing a beat. Snape nodded in approval.

"The instructions are on the board. You have the rest of this class period to complete the potions in pairs. I will assign your partners." Groans echoed throughout the classroom.

"Potter and Parkinson."

"Weasley and Bulstrode."

"Patil and Nott."

"Brown and Pucey." (Hermione inwardly cursed Lavender)

"Granger and Malfoy."

"Longbottom and Zabini."

"Finnigan and Crabbe."

"Thomas and Goyle."

Hermione cursed the heavens. Today was NOT her day. She scooped up her book bag when she realized Malfoy was not going to come to her.

"Let's get this over with Malfoy, I'm not in a good mood today." Hermine hissed.

Malfoy smirked, "That time of the month, eh?"

"No," she gritted her teeth.

"It sure seems like it." He chuckled sadistically.

"Whatever, Malfoy." Hermione rolled her eyes as she added the vampire blood to the already simmering cauldron. They spent the rest of the class in silence. Hermione turned in a vile of the completed potion when the bell rung and took her time walking out of the class in an attempt to make small talk with Adrian. To Hermione's dismay, as Adrian walked toward her he was forcefully grabbed by Pansy and tugged away to who-knows-where. Hermione sighed defeatedly.

The rest of the day went by quite uneventfully, well except for the blast-ended skrewt that had tried to swallow Marcus Flint's head and he had to be transported to St. Mungo's. At dinner, Hermione plopped down in her seat and sighed wearily.

"Hermione, what's wrong?" Ginny asked.

"Nothing." 

"Don't give me that, I know you too well to know that nothing's wrong." Ginny said sternly. "Come on, hurry up and eat so we can talk." Hermione did as she was told and soon she, Ginny, Parvati, and Lavender were all sitting around in the Gyffindor girls' dormitory in their pjs.

"Come on, Mione. Spill." Ginny giggled.

"Well, I sort of like this guy-" Hermione began.

"Malfoy!!" Lavender burst.

"Um… no. I like Adrian Pucey from Slytherin." They gasped loudly.

"Aww, he's super cute." Parvati gushed.

"And he's sweet… for a Slytherin-" Ginny added.

"Oh, and he has really pretty eyes." Lavender squealed. They all began shouting excitedly.

"Ok, well I think you should talk to him Mione. You totally have a chance. I heard from Hanna who heard from Millicent that he liked a girl from Gryffindor…maybe it's you!" Ginny said.

"I doubt it, " Hermione sighed unhappily, "I'm not pretty enough."

"Herms, you're extremely pretty. You just need to know how to flatter your best attributes." Ginny scolded.

"Will you teach me?" Hermione asked shyly.

Parvati face broke into a devious smirk. "It'd be our pleasure." They let out evil cackles and got to work.

"First we'll start with your hair…" Ginny said thoughtfully.

"I don't think there's anything we can do to tame that rat's nest." Parvati mumbled under her breath. Hermione heard her and glared.

"A few simple spells should do it…" Lavender murmured as she took out a book titled '101 Beauty Tips and Spells for Witches!'

"Let's get to work…"

3 hours later…

Hermione groaned…at the moment they were committing bloody murder on her eyebrows. They yanked a hair from the end of her left eyebrow and she flinched.

"Bloody hell Hermione! Hold still!" Lavender growled.

"Can't you do it with magic or something?" Hermione whined.

"A spell hasn't been invented for this yet." She snapped back quickly.

"Ok, all done." Parvati smiled, and they stepped back to admire her work. Hermione couldn't help but smile inwardly at the thought of her finally looking pretty. They had taken the time to do her makeup and everything. She grabbed the mirror as Parvati handed it to her.

_Bloody FUCKING hell._

She shrieked loudly, "I look like a WHORE!!"

They gasped in horror. "You do not!"

"Aargggggh!!!!! Yes I DO!" Hermione ran to the bathroom to wash her face. After ten minutes of scrubbing, her face was back to normal…save the plucked eyebrows and straightened hair.

"There…much better." She said to herself. "They may have overdone it, but I think with some mascara and a little blush, I'll look just fine."

"I agree." Ginny said simply from the bathroom's door frame.

"Thanks, Gin. We better get to bed." Hermione got up and let herself fall on her bed. She fell asleep almost immediately.

Hermione awoke early the next morning and took her time to get ready. She put on a yellow polka-dotted blouse and a pair of jeans. She slipped her robes on over it. Then, she went to the bathroom and applied some light makeup. Satisfied with her appearance, she strolled into the Great Hall and sat in between Harry and Ron.

Harry beamed at her, "Wow Mione, you look great!"

"Thanks Harry. And what do you have to say for yourself Ron?" Hermione turned to look at Ron, whose gaping mouth revealed a half-eaten biscuit. "And please close your mouth, it's unbecoming of you." Hermione added.

Ron gulped down his food noisily. "You look… pretty."

Hermione smiled, "Thanks." Hermione glanced over at the Slytherin table, where she saw Adrian talking animatedly to Blaise about something. Hermione couldn't help but smile at the thought of him.

"Well, I guess we're off to divination. See you at herbology Hermione." Harry and Ron walked out of the Great Hall. Hermione finished the rest of her toast and grabbed her book bag. Just as she walked out of the Great Hall, another body came into step beside her.

"Mind if I join you?" A mellifluous voice asked. Hermione turned to see the beautiful green eyes of Adrian Pucey. She giggled nervously.

"Not at all."

"So um, are you going to go to Hogsmeade this weekend?" He asked. There was an awkward silence.

"I dunno, I think I'm gonna stay here and do my charms essay." Hermione mumbled in response.

"Well, I was wondering if you would…maybe wanna come with me?" Adrian smiled sheepishly. "But if you don't that's okay." He added quickly.

"Actually, I'd love to." Hermione grinned.

"Really?" His face lit up.

"Yeah," Hermione answered eagerly. .

"Cool." Adrian tried to hide his grin but failed miserably. He had arithmancy with her next. They walked in silence for a while, neither of them knowing what to say or do. Then, Adrian grabbed Hermione's hand, and she took it. They walked into the arithmancy and took their seats next to each other. Throughout the class, Adrian whispered humorous comments in her ear, and she giggled. When class was over, they walked out of the classroom and burst out laughing.

"Did you see the way she looked at you after you said that?" Hermione giggled. "She definitely heard you!"

"I don't care. I'm a slytherin, remember?" Adrian's eyes glittered mischievously. Hermione blushed.

"I guess."

"Well, I'm off to care of magical creatures. Bye Hermione." Adrian said, he kissed her on the cheek.

"Bye," Hermione blushed for the second time in five minutes. As soon as he was out of view, she sighed contently.

During lunch, she told Ginny, Lavender, Parvati, Harry, and Ron everything.

"A slytherin?! But Hermione, they're the enemy!" Ron protested.

"He's one of the better slytherins. I remember seeing him at one of the DA meetings once. I approve, Mione." Harry smiled.

Instead of the expected reaction, Hermione glared. "No offense Harry, but I wasn't asking nor do I need your approval. I was simply telling you so you aren't caught by surprise."

"Sorry," Harry seemed perplexed.

"Whatever," Hermione replied. The next class they had was potions. Hermione caught sight of Adrian and her 'frown turned upside down.' He took Ron's usual spot on Hermione's left and Ron, fuming, was left to sit Neville. Not even Snape, who tried desperately, couldn't ruin Hermione's wonderful mood, she was absolutely delighted. By the end of the week, everyone knew of Hermione's high spirits. Some even tried to take advantage of it.

"Hey Hermione, do you think you could help me with my homework?" A small Hufflepuff boy asked.

"No," she said in a sing-song voice. Apparently, it didn't work.

She met up with Adrian at the library on Saturday night.

"So, do you think you could help me finish my potions essay?" He asked teasingly.

"That depends, do you want me to _help_ you or _finish _it for you?" Hermione asked cockily in response.

"Whatever answer doesn't get me a slap," Adrian chuckled.

"Help it is." Hermione moved her chair closer to him so she could get a good view of his essay. Her frown grew as she her eyes scanned over his essay.

"No offense, but this sucks. Give me your quill." Hermione spent the rest of the hour revising it while Adrian looked on in amusement.

"There, all done." Hermione gazed in content.

"You're brilliant," Adrian admired.

"I know," Hermione smirked. "We better get going. The library is going to close in a few minutes."

"Okay." He grabbed her hand and led her out of the library.

"So I guess I'll see you tomorrow. I'll drop by your common room at ten." Adrian told her.

"Yeah, I'll be ready." Hermione smiled.

"Good." He kissed her. "G'night."

"Night."


	2. What A Girl Wants

Ch 2- What a Girl Wants

Hermione woke up early the next morning. It was extremely hard for her to contain her excitement. She put on a pretty white blouse and a flower-patterned skirt. She put on her sandals and put on her makeup. After, she took her time to make her hair perfect. She was absolutely ecstatic that she was finally going out with the boy of her dreams. She looked at her clock… 8:39 a.m. She groaned in frustration. She spent the remaining hour talking with Dean and Seamus. There was a knock at the portrait. Hermione let out a squeal.

"That's him! Wish me luck!" Hermione giggled. She opened the portrait to see Adrian's face smile back at her.

"Morning beautiful," Adrian kissed her cheek.

"Hi," Hermione greeted in reply.

"Breakfast?" Adrian inquired.

"Of course." Hermione laughed in reply.

They walked into the Great Hall together. Everyone turned to look at them and went back to their regular conversations. Hermione grabbed a stack of pancakes and drowned them in syrup.

"Do you want some more pancakes with your syrup?" Adrian snorted.

Hermione laughed, "Whatever. I like my syrup okay?"

"Whatever floats your boat." Adrian shrugged.

They finished their breakfast and went outside to the grounds to find the carriages headed to Hogsmeade. They got into the third carriage and sat down facing each other. The carriages began to move.

They began to talk about Harry and Ron.

"Well, anyways, Harry and Ron are really good friends I wouldn't exchange them for the- " Hermione concluded but was interrupted when the carriage came to a halt.

"Why did we stop? It's too early to have already arrived at Hogsmeade." Adrian asked.

The carriage door opened.

"Mind if I join you? I didn't think so." Malfoy stepped into the carriage.

"Malfoy, this is sort of a private conversation," Hermione hissed.

"Oh, I don't mind." He shrugged.

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms defiantly.

"So Pucey, going out with the mudblood I see?" Malfoy said conversationally.

"Yes Draco, I am going out with Hermione." Adrian said as a matter-of-factly.

"My condolences." Draco muttered. They sat the rest of the ride in an uncomfortable silence, with Hermione pouting the whole way.

Once the carriage finally stopped at Hogsmeade, Hermione got out grumpily.

"Hey, are you okay?" Adrian asked once they were out of earshot.

"Yeah, I'm fine. It's just that Malfoy can be so arrogant!" Hermione vented.

"Imagine, I have to live with him in the same dorm." Adrian laughed humorously.

"I feel bad for you."

"Yes, I know."

"Hey, let's go to the Three Broomsticks." Adrian suggested.

"Ok, sure. I'd love to." Hermione smiled. They walked in and sat down at a small table in the corner of the room. Madame Rosmerta came over to the table in a cheery mood.

"Hello dears, what can I get for you?" She asked politely.

"Two butterbeers please," Adrian replied.

"Comin' right up." Madame Rosmerta scurried off.

"So um…" Adrian began.

"Yeeah…how 'bout those Chudley Cannons?" Hermione smiled sheepishly when Adrian looked at her oddly. This was awkward.

"So how's potions going for you? Does Snape absolute loathing for Gryffindors affect your grade?" Adrian brought up Snape.

"Well, it does affect most of them, but not mine. Honestly, I think it's because Snape can't find anything to take points off of." Hermione smiled proudly.

"If anything, I think Snape bumps our grade UP when we're on the verge of failing," Adrian chuckled.

"Ugh, he's so vile. It's favoritism and there should be a law against it." Hermione spat. "I remember, in first year, Harry, Ron, and I thought he was the one helping Voldemort and trying to kill Harry. At the quidditch game where Harry's broom was jinxed, It was Quirell who jinxed it and Snape was trying to save him. I thought it was Snape and I set his robes on fire. Out of pure luck, he threw off Quirell's concentration."

"Really?"

"Yes. And in second year, we thought Malfoy was the heir to the chamber of secrets. It was really Voldemort, and he controlled Ginny to open it for him with his diary."

"Wow. You've had quite a life here at Hogwarts."

"Oh, that's _nothing._ In third year, Ron got his leg bit by a 'rabid dog' and then we found out Lupin was a werewolf and it just happened to be a full moon that night. Snape was able to take Ron away as Harry and I led Lupin away. We almost got mauled by a werewolf and to top it off, we were attacked by bloody dementors." Hermione sighed, the memories coming back to her.

"I wish my life was that interesting," Adrian mumbled.

"Oh, no really, you don't." Hermione turned red, realizing that she was bragging about her and her best friends' accomplishments. "I mean, I'm sure you have had your own adventures too?"

"Um, no. Not really, but it's fun to hear about yours." Adrian added with a grin. Madame Rosmerta brought their butterbeers.

"Enjoy!"

They took small sips at their butterbeers. After an uncomfortable silence, Adrian spoke up.

"Listen Hermione, I really like you…a lot. So um, willyoubemygirfriend?" Adrian mumbled.

"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch that." Hermione held back a smirk, she blamed Malfoy.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asked hopefully.

"Yes!" Hermione leaped across the table to give him a hug, which happened to gain the attention of everyone in the pub.

"Um, sorry. Sentimental moments, they getcha." Hermione added an arm movement. Everyone stared.

"Just shhh…" Adrian shushed her and she giggled as he grabbed her arm and pulled her out the door.

Break---

Hermione and Adrian spent the next few weeks together blissfully. They would often be found making out in the library…oh my gosh she did not just think that…oh, she did…and it was quite enjoyable, she might add. She began wearing brighter clothes, not that they weren't bright already, and started her S.P.E.W. campaign again (until Adrian asked her to stop because it was completely hopeless). Simple to say, Hermione had been in a VERY happy mood. Adrian was absolutely the _perfect _guy for her. She sighed dreamily. She went to the Great Hall, ate a quick breakfast, and was on her merry way once again. As Hermione passed through the corridors with an undeniable morning glow in her face (and I'll tell you this people…she DEFINETELY wasn't a morning person), she could hear the excited whispers of someone who had just heard some very juicy gossip.

"What happened to her? She looks so weird…like she's happy or something. You don't see that every day…"

"I think she got laid." Someone whispered back. Hermione scowled slightly at this remark but she was so happy that she waved it off and didn't bother to scold the ignorant idiot who said it. She was on her way to the Gryffindor common room when she was pulled into an empty classroom by a pair of arms. Hermione giggled, as Adrian often did this frequently. She spun around and came face to face with Harry and Ron.

"Oh, I thought it was Adrian," Hermione didn't bother to hide the disappointment in her voice.

"We know," they said simultaneously.

"If you're going to tell me you don't approve because he's a Slytherin well save it because-"

"Hermione, shut up." Harry cut her off abruptly. "I don't care that you're going out with him, that's fine with us. I just…don't want you to get to _attached._" Harry sighed dramatically.

"What do you mean?" Hermione cocked her head.

"We've heard things about Pucey. We're not sure if they're true but we just don't want you to get hurt. You're like a little sister, and as big brothers we want to make sure you're safe." Harry answered.

"In other words, we'll beat him into a bloody sodding pulp if he hurts you." Ron beat his fist into his hand.

Hermione laughed at their concern, but was also concerned (haha). "Don't worry, I trust Adrian a lot. I really like him, but thanks for your concern." Hermione assured them. "Am I free to go?" They gazed at her briefly before nodding.

"You're free to go," Ron nodded his head solemnly. Hermione smiled.

"Drama queens." She coughed as she walked out the door.

"What did you say!?" She heard one yell back at her.

"Nothing!!" She replied in a sing-song voice. She giggled madly and made a run for it when she heard two-pairs of footsteps going toward her in her direction.

A/N- ok I'm done…I know it's REALLY short but I wanted to update it tonight since I'm going to Waco, TX for a state track meet …as a freshman mind you…wooo!!! I'll write there and hopefully type it up and post it by either Sunday or Monday…I've been waiting to write this next chapter ever since I got the idea of Inertia!!


	3. The BreakUp

Ch 3- The Break-Up

Hermione sat in the library doing her herbology essay for Professor Sprout. She added the finishing touches before closing the book as a sign of completion. It was a Friday afternoon and classes were over, so she went down to the Slytherin dungeons to look for Adrian. She knocked on the Slytherin portrait. Millicent Bulstrode opened it.

"What do you want?" she sneered.

"I'm looking for Adrian," Hermione scowled.

"He's not here…went looking for you. Said he had something important to tell you." She shrugged.

"Which way did he go?"

"Library probably."

"I just came from there," Hermione retorted.

"Then he went somewhere ELSE," Millicent concluded and slammed the portrait shut.

"Stupid bint," Hermione muttered, stomping off in anger and disappointment.

Hermione decided to go to the Great Hall since that's probably the most likely place to find Adrian. To her luck, he was there.

"Adrian! I've been looking all over for you!" Hermione skipped over to his side.

"Yeah, me too." Adrian smiled half-heartedly. Hermione noticed.

"What's wrong?" Hermione placed a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. "You can tell me."

"Maybe we should go somewhere more private," Adrian said uneasily.

"Um ok." She allowed him to pull her into an empty classroom. He quickly took a seat on the desk.

"Sit down cupcake," Adrian patted the spot next to him. She obliged. He took her hands in his.

"Well, I really don't know how to say this but I like another girl." Adrian sighed. Hermione's heart shattered, but her face remained impassive.

"Have you been cheating on me?" she croaked.

"No, of course not!" Adrian's eyes widened in surprise. "I never would, but I guess it's that I don't' feel like we have anything in common."

"What are you trying to day?" Hermione's cold demeanor was beginning to fade.

"Don't you get it Granger?! I'm breaking up with you. I don't like you anymore!" Adrian yelled at her, he was standing in front of her now. Hermione stood up and glared at him.

"Well I hope you're happy!" She spat and ran out of the room. As soon as she was out of earshot, she burst out crying…no scratch that…BAWLING. She didn't even bother to check if dinner was over, she just went straight to the kitchens. She practically clawed at the giggling pear as the kitchen portrait opened. She was greeted by Winky, _the stupid drunk elf_, Hermione thought dejectedly.

"Winky, I would like four tubs of chunkie munkie ice cream please," Hermione hiccupped, tears rolling freely down her cheeks. Hermione plopped down on a stool as Winky scurried off. Winky quickly brought the half-gallon tubs back, balancing in one hand since the other hand was being occupied by a bottle of fire-whiskey. She grabbed the tubs and shoveled a spoonful into her mouth. She looked at Winky, who was staring.

"Give me that!" Hermione hissed as she snatched the fire-whiskey from Winky. She distributed the whole bottle of it evenly between the four tubs of delicious chunkie munkie ice-cream.

Hermione could feel the burning whiskey mixed with the ice-cream as she shoved spoonful after spoonful and it made its painful descent down her throat. Hermione began to cry again. The portrait swung open to reveal a very arrogant Malfoy. At the moment Hermione didn't care who it was, she just need someone to spill her guts to (figuratively and literally).

"Oh Draco! It's absolutely horrible! Adrian broke up with me!" Hermione ranted on and on while Draco smirked with an eyebrow raised. He waited patiently for her to finish.

"Granger, as enjoyable as it is for me to find you in such a _pathetic_ state, I really don't care." He drawled.

"Oh please, I just need someone to talk to," Hermione wailed and hiccupped, the firewhiskey taking its effect. Malfoy sighed and took the seat across from her.

"Well then, let's hear it." He rolled his eyes.

"He…he told me he found someone else and didn't want to be with me anymore." Hermione stuttered, occasionally interrupted by hiccups. She finished the first bowl of ice-cream and moved on to the next.

"Oh how pitiful," Malfoy said, not sounding apologetic at all.

"Do you think I'm absolutely horrid?" Hermione sniffed. Malfoy froze, either way he answered, every girl's reaction was the same…completely unpredictable.

"Well, you're not ugly." He began uneasily. Seeing her glowering look, he continued," You're fairly decent-looking. With the right look, you could be quite beautiful." Malfoy had to swallow the bile that rose up in his throat. His eyes watered at its acidity.

"Oh god, you think I'm hideous!" Hermione began to weep with renewed vigor.

"Sweet Merlin Granger, don't cry!" Draco said trying to sooth her. Hermione began to shovel the ice-cream into her mouth with the pace of a mad woman. Suddenly, Hermione began to giggle uncontrollably. Malfoy's eyebrows shot up in confusion.

"Granger, bloody hell, are you drunk?" Hermione took one look at him and began to giggle even more. Draco grabbed the chunkie-munkie ice-cream and took a sniff at it.

"Granger! This has fire-whiskey in it!" Malfoy waved it around in her face.

"How many have you eaten?" Draco's question was answered when he saw the two empty cartons and the half-empty (or full depending on how you look at it) one she was currently working on.

"Okay… too much spiked ice-cream for you," Draco snatched everything away and Hermione flailed her arms in desperation. As she made one last attempt to grab his arm, his eyes locked with hers. She smiled.

"I love youuu!" She giggled, and fell off her chair.

"It's not everyday you see the mudblood bookworm wasted," Draco chuckled at the thought.

"You're so purty," Hermione tried and failed to stand up.

"Alright Granger, off to the infirmary we go!" Draco dragged her at a very sluggish pace towards the Hospital Wing.

"Granger," Draco growled as she stumbled for the umpteenth time. "Don't make me have to carry you." Before he knew what was happening, Hermione had jumped on his back.

"Aw f- bloody hell Granger!" Malfoy yelled in surprise.

"Piggy back ride!" She squealed.

"Granger, get off!" Malfoy tried to shake her off but she was stuck on like a leech.

As he turned the last corner, Harry and Ron came into view.

"Just my luck," he scowled.

When they saw him, they came running at full speed.

"Malfoy! What the heck do you think you're doing?!" Ron exploded.

"She's as wasted as a Slytherin on new Year's Eve," he spat in reply. "I, being the wonderful person I am, was taking her to the Hospital Wing, but I'll leave it to you instead. Now please get the mudblood off of me. I'm gonna have to take a five-hour shower to get rid of this horrible stench."

Harry and Ron gawked openly.

"Ok, I'll try again." Draco gritted his teeth. "Get her off before I DROP her." They wordlessly pulled her off of Draco.

"Thank you, and for all our sakes, good luck." Malfoy waved them off dismissively and began to walk back to the Slytherin dungeons. Harry and Ron, too in shock to speak, finished the journey to the infirmary.

A/N- how do you like it?? This was a chapter with a lot of humor in it… just got back from state it was super fun!! SJA girls won state championship!! Woo!!!!!!!!!!!


	4. Shrek

Ch 4- Shrek

Hermione groggily woke up and as her vision cleared, the white walls of the Hospital Wing came into focus around her. She turned her head and came face to face with Harry.

"Hermione? How do you feel?" Ron asked from the foot of the bed. It was then Hermione realized she had an extremely bad headache.

"My head…" she groaned. Harry was pushed out of the way by Madame Pomfrey.

"Here, drink this," ordered Pomfrey. Hermione drank the potion and grimaced at the taste.

"I must warn you. It may have a few er- side effects, but not to worry, nothing serious." Madame Pomfrey smiled encouragingly.

Hermione smiled in understanding and lay back down on her pillow. Harry took his place once again when Madam Pomfrey bustled back to her pantry in order to take care of other patients.

"What happened?"

"You tell us. All we know is we found you on Malfoy's back completely drunk, and he was about to throw you out the window because he couldn't take it anymore."

"Way to exaggerate the truth Potter," Malfoy strolled in with his hands in his pockets.

"Contrary to what Potter said Granger, I was trying to get you to the Hospital Wing since I had found you piss drunk in the kitchens," drawled Malfoy.

"Oh," Hermione blushed as last night's events came rushing back to her.

"Ah, so you remember?" Malfoy smirked.

"Why are you here anyway? Come to check up on me?" Hermione sneered, her wit returning to her.

"Sorry to disappoint you but no. I came to get a potion for my back since you practically broke it when you leapt on me, fatty." Malfoy said drily.

"Ferret."

"Bookworm."

"Snot."

"Muddy."

"Potter, Weasley, Malfoy, come here please!" Madam Pomfrey called them to her office.

"Has she exhibited the side effects yet?" she asked worriedly.

"What?" asked a very, confused Ron.

"Well, let's go see." Pomfrey scurried back to Hermione's bed. She sucked in her breath.

"Oh, my."

"What?" Hermione cried.

Malfoy took one look at her and burst out in a fit of laughter. "Granger! You should see yourself, you look like an ogre!"

Hermione lept out of bed and looked at herself in a mirror despite Pomfrey's protests.

She let out a blood-curdling shriek.

"I look like bloody SHREK!!"

"What's that?" Ron asked.

"Miss Granger, everyone exhibits different side effects to the potion. I just didn't know yours would be that…affected."

Hermione looked at herself in the mirror and began to whimper. She hadn't gotten any bigger, (thank Merlin) but she was now a sickly shade of green and she had little ears sticking out of her head.

"I'll be right back. I have to go get Creevey and his stupid camera!" Malfoy cackled. Harry and Ron both held him back by the arms.

"You will do no such thing!" Hermione screeched. Her voice seemed to have amplified ten-fold.

"You can't tell me what to do," Malfoy crossed his arms childishly.

"Fine," Hermione scowled, "but I strongly suggest you keep an eye open when you go to sleep tonight."

"That's the emptiest threat I've ever heard," Malfoy sneered.

"Would you like to test your theory?" Hermione challenged.

"Maybe I would," Malfoy retorted angrily.

"Fine!"

"Fine."

"Fine." Hermione crossed her arms indignantly. Malfoy stormed out.

"He didn't even get his stupid potion," Hermione scowled. Harry and Ron exchanged glances.

Harry motioned for the door with his head. He exited the infirmary and Ron followed behind.

"Is it me or does it seem like Malfoy likes Hermione?" Harry whispered.

"Um, it seems like he hates her," Ron stated dumbly.

"Ron, you're so thick! When you liked Hermione, didn't you used to tease her?" Harry exclaimed.

"Ya but that's different."

"How?" Harry crossed his arms expectantly.

"Um…"

"Exactly. Whatever we do, we have to keep Malfoy away from her at all costs."

Hermione stalked the halls of Hogwarts in a fury unmatched by any magical creature on this planet. The students' eyes widened in surprise once they caught sight of Hermione. They would double over in a silent fit of laughter, but none would dare laugh out loud for the fear of strangling them.

One unfortunate first year was not able to contain their laughter. He let out a small giggle as she walked by, and he soon found himself cowering against the wall as she towered over hmi menacingly.

"Find this funny do you?" Hermione bellowed. "Would you like it if I turned you into a toad?! Because I have no problem doing so!"

The small boy shook his head meekly.

"I never want to see your stupid clueless face again!" Hermione's green face had turned a deep purple. The boy scurried off before she could say anything else. She felt a strong grip on her wrist and turned around to see Malfoy's calculating stare.

"Can I have a word with you?" He pulled her into our empty classroom and crossed his arms.

"What's your problem? You can't just go around terrorizing poor first years!" Malfoy scowled.

"Why not?" Hermione bit back.

"Because…that's MY JOB!!" yelled Malfoy.

"And who gave you that job?!" Hermione glared.

"Well, somebody had to do it..and it was me!"

"Well, your services are no longer needed," said Hermione as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

"Your MOM."

"YOUR FACE!"

"YOUR MOM'S FACE!!!"

Then Hermione's face looked confused. "Why am I still in here?" She asked herself. She walked out of the classroom. Since it was Saturday, Hermione decided to spend a few hours in the library.

"Fancy finding you here," Hermione spun around and came face to face with Ginny.

"Oh, Gin. You scared me," Hermione clutched her chest.

"I hope you don't mind me asking but why are you green?" Ginny smirked.

"It's a hangover potion with ghastly side effects," Hermione mumbled.

Ginny laughed, "A Hangover? What have you done with Hermione Granger?"

"It's not funny Gin, Adrian broke up with me."

"Oh Hermione, I'm sorry." Ginny went from amused to sympathetic. She hugged her friend in need.

"It's okay. I'm over it I guess, I just needed a bit of spiked ice-cream, and everything was fine." Hermione smiled reassuringly.

"Well, as long as you're okay, I'm okay." Ginny comforted.

"Well, I have a date with Dean, so I'll talk to you later on tonight." Ginny giggled and left the library.

"Hope you have better luck than I do." Hermione muttered to herself.

"Yeah, me too." Malfoy appeared from behind a book case.

"You know, stalking is illegal everywhere." Hermione scowled. 

"Don't flatter yourself Granger," Malfoy remarked.

"Well, it just so happens to be an odd coincidence that you appear everywhere I GO." Hermione crossed her arms mockingly.

"Do us all a favor and shut your big green face up." Malfoy sniggered.

"Malfoy, if you mention my 'green-ness' one more time, I'm going to scream." Hermione gritted her teeth.

Malfoy smirked. "Granger Green-face."

Hermione's eyes bulged in fury.

"Greeny."

Her eye twitched.

"Shrek." Hermione let out a blood-curdling scream.


	5. Disturbia

Ch 5- Disturbia

Malfoy soon found himself on the floor with Hermione on top of him beating him senselessly…or well she tried anyway. But in comparison to his frame, Hermione's was much smaller and therefore she couldn't inflict much damage. It still didn't keep her from trying though.

"Arggh!!! Granger, geroff me!!" Malfoy tried pushing her off, but as much as he tried, he couldn't stop her green-faced wrath. He was finally able to roll her off of him and he rolled onto her. He grabbed her wrists and held them above her head so she couldn't cause him anymore pain.

"Well well, this is a compromising position." Malfoy chuckled. Hermione shoved him off of her.

"Piss off," she sneered.

"Granger, forgive my forwardness but…are you PMSing?" He said coolly.

She let out a scream of frustration.

"Malfoy, if I ever –" But she was cut off by a VERY angry looking Madame Pince.

"Miss Granger, Mr. Malfoy, you do realize where you are, don't you?" She said in a very calm voice…too calm.

"Uh…the library?" Malfoy answered stupidly.

"And you do realize that when you are in a library, there are very strict rules implemented so that people stay quiet and can work on their studies without distraction?" She continued.

"Uh…yeah." Malfoy answered again. Hermione closed her eyes in preparation for what was coming…and in awe of Malfoy's utter stupidity.

"THEN WHY ARE YOU YELLING IN MY LIBRARY!!?" She exploded. Malfoy cowered against Hermione. She pushed him away without a second thought.

"We're sorry Madame Pince, it's just…"

"I don't care! Get out of my library! OUT!!!!" Madame Pince looked about ready to wack them with the book in her hand (which happened to be a very large one) so they ran out of the library without hesitation.

"Look what you've done!! You've gone and got me kicked out of the library!" Hermione cried.

"Well Granger, in your case, that's a good thing. You really need to get out more, get some fresh air," Malfoy crossed his arms.

"Stay away from me! Don't ever speak to me again!!" Hermione pointed an accusing finger at him.

"But _Hermioneee_, I lurve you and I want to be with you alwaaayys." Malfoy crooned at her sarcastically.

Hermione went quiet. "That. was. creepy."

Malfoy was shocked also…as if he couldn't believe those words ever came out of his mouth. "I agree."

"Err…maybe I should just give you some space, to..ahh…sort your priorities out." Hermione laughed uneasily.

"Ummm…yeah." Malfoy refused to look in her eyes, then he smirked. "And if I were you I'd go outside right this minute Granger, you really need to do something about your complexion." He ran off laughing hysterically. Hermione looked at his retreating back in confusion before it hit her like a sack of potatoes…she was GREEN.

"MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!"

Hermione stomped off in utter fury. She went to the lavatories. Malfoy was right, she had to do something about her skin. She looked at herself in the mirror for about five minutes before an idea came to her. She would just use a glamour charm until the side-effects wore off!! Brilliant! She quickly cast one and her skin reverted back to its normal color. She sighed in relief, she was definitely much happier. She went to go look for Harry and Ron, and she found them outside.

"Hey guys," she sat down next to them under the tree.

"Hey Hermione," they greeted in return.

"What are you doing out here?" She asked them curiously.

"Oh look!! Your skin is back to normal!" Ron gasped.

"Thank you Captain Obvious," Harry chuckled.

"Who's that?"

Hermione rolled her eyes.

"Just let it go Ron, before your brain overloads." Hermione sighed.

"Ok."

"So what were you doing out here?" Hermione asked her original question.

"Nothing."

"Nothing…" Hermione repeated, quite skeptically.

"Yep. Just sitting and looking." Harry added.

"Since when do guys like you sit and enjoy the scenery, quite a scenery I might add," Hermione questioned doubtingly. She gestured toward the scenery which was one of Hogwarts' plain brick walls.

"There are lots of things to look at," Harry answered defensively.

"Oh yes, my my, look at those bricks. That's a piece of art," Hermione said bitingly.

"Oooh, what a shrewd girly you are…is someone PMSing today?" Ron's lips curled into a devious smile.

"Why does everybody keep asking me that?!" Hermione stood up and stomped away.

"I'll take that as a yes." Harry grinned.

"Good thing we didn't tell her the truth, what would she think if we said that we thought that we think Malfoy likes her?" Ron sighed in relief.

"Ron, that made no sense….at all."

"It made complete sense Harry." Ron looked at Harry like he was mental.

Harry expressed Ron's opinion. "Mental," he muttered under his breath.

Back to Hermione….

Hermione walked briskly through the halls, headed straight for the prefects' bathroom for a nice, long hot bath. Suddenly, she stopped dead in her tracks. In front of her, in plain view, was Adrian Pucey. And he was holding hands with Padma Patil. She quickly scrambled into the nearest broom closet she could find. She turned on the light and came face to face with… dun dun dun!! Cliffy

Hahaha…. Jk

She turned on the light and came face to face with….Draco Malfoy (surprised?? Oh yeah…I knew you would be).

"Malfoy! What the hell are you doing?" She whispered.

"I'm in a closet Muddy, what does it look like I'm doing?" Malfoy sneered.

"Oh, so do you usually spend your spare time in closets just lounging about?" Hermione tried crossing her arms for emphasis, but said task proved to be very hard in the cramped space they were in.

"No, I was hiding from Pansy, what about you?" Malfoy scowled.

"I was hiding from Adrian. Oh gosh, it was absolutely horrible, I saw him holding hands with Padma Patil." Hermione began to sob.

"The hufflepuff?"

"Yes the hufflepuff!" Hermione snapped.

"Eww…at least I would have gone for the other twin. She's prettier." Malfoy remarked.

"Um… but their twins."

"There is still a difference you dyke."

Hermione gasped loudly. "Are you implying that I'm a lesbian?" Her voice began to rise.

"What if I am?"

"Oh ho ho, buddy, I'll show you that I'm anything but lesbian!" Hermione shoved a finger into his chest.

"And how do you plan to do that Granger?" Malfoy raised one of his eyebrows as though he knew what was coming next.

"I'll…" but she never got to finish her sentence because the closet door opened and she fell out...dragging Malfoy along with her. Hermione looked up after rubbing her bruised bum and came face to face with Adrian. _Oh crap. _

He looked at her uneasily and she reciprocated the action.

"This is awkward." Adrian chuckled sheepishly.

"What were you and Malfoy doing in the closet?" Padma sneered accusingly.

"What were you doing _opening _the closet?" Hermione fired back.

"Maybe we like to go around opening all the closets we see," Padma retorted. What a stupid answer.

Hermione laughed coldly. "Ooh, what fun." Malfoy couldn't help but smile at her witty retorts. "Maybe me and Malfoy like to go 'hang out' in every closet we see."

"Touché." Malfoy sniggered.

"I didn't think you'd hang around with a mud- muggleborn Draco," Adrian said.

"Well, you don't think very often now do you?" Malfoy remarked.

"At least I have a brain," Adrian scowled.

"But see, therein lies the problem. You're brain dead," Malfoy sniggered.

"Well at least I have enough sense not to go around hanging out with a mudblood!"

"You're the one who went out with her in the first place," Malfoy baited.

"I only did that because I knew she would do my homework for me, she does it for Pothead and the Weasel too!" Adrian froze as if just realizing Hermione was right next to Draco. He turned to face her, and she was absolutely livid.

"So you only went out with me because I was an easy homework grade?" Hermione's voice was eerily calm.

"Um not necessarily," Adrian laughed weakly.

"That's what it sounded like Pucey," Malfoy cackled. Hermione shot him a glare that made him close his mouth immediately.

"Who would wanna go out with you anyway? You're such a bookworm freak," Padma interjected. Hermione's face turned beet red in anger.

"I'LL SHOW YOU BOOKWORM FREAK!!" Hermione tackled Padma Patil in a flurry of punches, scratches, and fists of hair.

"Granger! Granger! Bloody hell, will you calm the fuck down!!" Malfoy had pulled her off of Padma and was trying to restrain her while Adrian did the same to her.

"Come on, they're not worth the time. We can go find another broom closet to snog in and let them have this one," Malfoy tried soothing her. She was so angry she didn't catch the joke in his comforting words…but Adrian and Padma did. Before they could say anything, Malfoy dragged a still fuming Hermione into one of the many corridors of Hogwarts.

"Granger, you really need to learn to control your temper. Maybe you should…" Malfoy's voice stopped abruptly as they heard an odd sound, almost like a giggle.

"What was that?" Hermione whispered.

"I don't know," Malfoy answered, genuinely curious.

"Let's find out." They followed the sound until it led them to the potion's classroom.

"Open it," Hermione ordered.

"You open it!"

"No you."

"Fine." Malfoy creaked the door open just slightly and they both peaked through it. Inside the potion's room was the most disturbing sight they've ever seen. Snape was on top of Professor Grubbly-Plank…snogging her quite intensely. Malfoy quickly shut the door and turned to Hermione, their eyes both wide in surprise and disgust.

"I think that is the most disturbing thing I've ever seen," Malfoy finally spoke.

"I'm scarred for life," Hermione nodded in solemn agreement. They walked to the library in an unspoken agreement. Never shall they speak of this again.


	6. Drive Me Crazy

Ch 6- Drive Me Crazy

"Um Ron, what are you doing?" Harry looked at Ron uncertainly.

"What does it look like I'm doing Harry?"

"Well, it looks like you're trying to lour Crookshanks over here with a chunk of rotting fish," Harry scrunched his nose in disgust.

"Exactly."

"May I ask why?" Harry inquired.

"Because I want to grab a piece of his fur," Ron answered.

Harry decided he didn't want to know. He sighed. He had just recently seen Padma and Adrian together, and he hoped Hermione didn't see him together. If she did, he was afraid of her reaction. She was a bit like Ron, except scarier when angered. Hermione walked into the Gryffindor common room.

"Hey guys," Hermione plopped down on the couch.

"Hermione, are you all right? You look a bit weary." Harry asked.

"Um, just tired is all," Hermione thought back to what she and Malfoy had recently witnessed. She shuddered.

"Maybe you should just go to bed," Harry asked. Hermione looked at Ron curiously, but she shook her head as if she was imagining it.

"I think you're right, good night Harry."

"Sleep well, tomorrow's the Hogsmeade trip." Harry reminded.

"Thanks," Hermione went up to the dormitory. She changed into her nighty and let herself fall on the bed. She fell asleep immediately. Hermione woke up early the next morning so that she would have time to get ready for the Hogsmeade trip. She was planning to buy herself an owl and some new quills along with some candy. She quickly put on some jeans, a shirt, and a fluffy little sweater that she absolutely loved. Hermione woke up the rest of the dorm by opening the curtains and letting in the early morning sun.

"Rise and shine girls!" Hermione shouted.

"Hermione!" She heard shouts of protest.

"Every Sunday!" She heard another girl moan. Hermione just smiled. She really took a sort of sadistic pleasure in this. She quickly went down to the common room to meet up with Harry and Ron before the girls could say anything else.

"Good morning!" Hermione greeted as she descended the stairs.

"Morning," Ron mumbled.

"Ron couldn't sleep last night," Harry said in explanation.

"Oh," Hermione shrugged nonchalantly. "Come on, I'm starved." They went into the Great Hall. They sat down at the Gryffindor table and were soon joined by Dean Thomas and Seamus Finnigan.

"What time do the carriages leave for Hogsmeade?" Dean asked.

Harry looked at his watch, "In about half an hour." They finished their breakfast and walked out into the school grounds. Hermione looked up into the sky.

"It's kind of dark. I think it's going to rain," Hermione said casually.

"Yeah, probably." Ron agreed. They wrapped their scarves tighter around themselves. The chilly November air was getting colder by the minute.

"Let's stop at the Three Broomsticks first," Harry said in a cheery voice.

"I agree, I really need a butterbeer," Ron added. The trio walked into the Three Broomsticks and ordered three butterbeers. Madame Rosmerta quickly brought them their drinks and they all took a swig, letting the liquid sooth their throats.

"Oh no," Hermione groaned. She banged her head on the table. Ron and Harry looked towards the door and saw Adrian walk in pulling Padma by the hand. Harry looked at him bitterly while Ron just scowled.

"Do you want to leave?" Harry looked at Hermione.

"No I'm fine," Hermione responded indifferently. Ron saw Padma look over and sneer. She walked over to the table and stood in front of Hermione. Hermione pretended not to see her.

"So what was that with Malfoy yesterday, Granger? Was he that desperate for a snog that he settled for you?" Padma

"What?!" Ron bellowed.

"Mind your own business, Patil. Malfoy and I weren't doing anything, you were the ones looking for a closet to snog in." Hermione retorted.

"And yet you were the ones in the closet when we opened it." Padma responded.

"That's only because I saw you two and hid in the first closet I could find."

"And Malfoy just happened to be in that same closet with you?" Adrian pointed out skeptically.

"Actually, yes."

"Whatever," Adrian rolled his eyes.

"Be gone." Ron acted as though he was waving them off.

"What did they mean when they said they found you and Malfoy in a closet?" Harry turned to stare at Hermione.

"I already explained myself…I hid from Adrian, and Malfoy hid from Pansy. End of story," Hermione scowled stubbornly.

"I really don't think that's all that happened," Harry pressed the matter.

"Well, that's it." Hermione refused to go into detail.

"Fine."

"I'm tired of this, I'll see you guys later." Hermione pushed her chair out and stood up.

"Wait, where are you going?" Ron asked.

"To go get some new quills." Hermione answered briefly before walking out of the Three Broomsticks. Hermione sighed in frustration. They could all really be infuriating sometimes. She decided to make a quick stop at Honeydukes and bought some chocolate frogs and a bag of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans.

"Granger, if it isn't my favorite little mudblood," came a cool drawl from behind her.

"It's not," Hermione dismissed coldly.

"Don't be like that," Malfoy smirked.

"Could you leave me alone?" Hermione groaned.

"Could you like…stop being such a prude?" Malfoy mimicked.

"Malfoy, I'm really not in the mood," Hermione whined.

"Aw, rub some dirt on it!" Malfoy laughed.

"…what?" Hermione was confused.

"Nevermind, it's something I heard someone say."

"Whatever."

Hermione Granger quickly popped a chocolate frog in her mouth and left Malfoy talking to himself. She quickly bought some quills, and she walked the path leading to the Shrieking Shack. She leaned on the old, battered fence and took a deep breath of the crisp air.

"Hermione?" Hermione turned around and looked at Ginny's worried face.

"Hey Ginny," Hermione smiled slightly.

"What are you doing up here?" Ginny asked.

"I could ask you the same question," Hermione laughed light-heartedly.

"Well, I was supposed to meet Dean here," Ginny blushed.

Hermione chuckled, "Well, I just came up here to think. But…if you want me to leave, just say the word."

"Well, I don't know. If you want to go, go ahead." Ginny giggled.

"Yeah, I guess I'm done thinking. Use protection, drive safe." Hermione winked. Ginny looked scandalized. "Bye, Gin."

"Hermione, are you okay?" Ginny pulled Hermione back.

"Oh Gin, sometimes I feel like the world is driving me crazy. I guess I just need to sit down and relax sometimes."

"Hermione, maybe you should take a break. Go visit your parents and just chill out," Ginny counseled.

"Well, Christmas break is almost here. I'll just wait until then. Ginny, really, I'm fine." Hermione added seeing the worried look on Ginny's face.

"Hermione? Be careful, okay?" Ginny smiled encouragingly.

"Always. Thanks, Gin." Hermione stuck her hands in her pockets and started back for the main road. She passed Dean on the way.

"She's waiting for you," Hermione smiled.

"Thanks, Hermione," Dean mumbled. Hermione sighed, she _almost_ had the perfect relationship, she thought she did, but apparently not.

"Granger?" Malfoy appeared and fell into step beside her.

"What do you want?"

"I'm sorry for the way I acted earlier," Malfoy apologized.

"Ok." Hermione kept walking.

"Aren't you gonna accept my apology?" Malfoy looked expectant.

"What do you want me to say Malfoy? _I forgive you and let's be friends forever_?" Hermione scoffed.

"Well, not exactly. But something along those lines," Malfoy whined.

"Malfoy, get over yourself. The world doesn't revolve around you," Hermione said.

"See, that's where you're wrong. It does," Malfoy smirked.

"You're so full of shit." Hermione scowled.

"Please, I'm right. Anything you can do I can do better," Malfoy said in a superior tone.

"Oh really? I bet you couldn't spend two days in the muggle world, let alone Christmas break with ME." Hermione challenged.

"I could!"

"No, you couldn't."

"How 'bout I take you up on that challenge?" Malfoy stuck his hand out in a sign of a bet.

"Deal." Hermione shook it.

"You're going down muddy!" Malfoy sneered.

"You wish, ferret boy. Oh, and muddy? Come on, get real." Hermione jeered.

"What? Can't face the reality that you're a mudblood?"

"Please, I don't care anymore. To me, it's just another one of your meaningless insults." Hermione waved him off.

"Granger, inside, you're tearing up."

"Yeah, inside your dreams." Hermione mumbled. They were already back on Hogsmeade's main road. Hermione stopped dead in her tracks, eyes wide.

"What?" Malfoy looked confused.

"I just realized I invited you to spend Christmas break with me," Hermione whispered.

"Er, so? It's only because you don't think I can survive in the muggle world," Malfoy rationalized.

"Correction: I KNOW you can't survive in the muggle world," Hermione smirked, and continued to walk.

"Oh muddy, it displeases me that you have so little faith." Malfoy said condescendingly.

"Oh no, whatever shall I do for the rest of my life," Hermione scowled sarcastically.

"Personally, I think you suck at life and should quit." Malfoy piped.

"You should play in traffic," Hermione retorted back without skipping a beat.(A/N- those are the two lines me and my friend agu are always throwing at each other…it's like routine sniff )

"Touché." Malfoy made an unidentifiable upward gesture with his lips.

"That's the second time you've said that Malfoy and quite frankly, I hate that word coming out of your mouth. In fact, I hate the sound of your ferrety little voice, so shut up."

"Granger, has anyone ever told you that you need therapy? You are one troubled teenage soul." Malfoy looked at her sympathetically.

"Malfoy, please don't make me drown you in the lake," Hermione sneered. She took a turn into the Three Broomsticks once again to order one more butterbeer before taking a carriage back to Hogwarts. Malfoy began to talk, but Hermione wasn't listening. She sat down at a small table and he sat across from her, still talking.

"Could you stop following me?!" Hermione shrieked and threw her hands wildly up in the air.

"Don't make yourself sound so important Granger," Malfoy said demeaningly.

"Well gee, that's what it sure seems like you're doing." Hermione got her butterbeer and downed the whole thing in several, large gulps.

"Good bye Malfoy, and for Merlin's sake, STOP FOLLOWING ME." Hermione ordered.

"Fine." Hermione heard him mutter something about temperamental women before slamming the shop's door shut behind her.

A/N- sorry it took me so long to update!! I've been at camp in Mexico for 3 weeks, and it was super cool, but I couldn't help but think about my poor readers that were being neglected srry!!! So here's this chappie then


	7. The Holiday

A/N- if I'm missing any 'o' letters…sorry. Its not cuz I am absolutely horrible at grammar but because the o on my keyboard isn't working very well

Ch 7-The Holiday

Weeks went by quickly. Hermione studied, Malfoy annoyed the crap out of her, and Harry and Ron pestered her for homework answers. All too soon, winter rolled around and before they knew it…it was time for the winter holidays.

Hermione scowled as she lugged her trunk up onto the Hogwarts Express, with Malfoy trailing behind her. He seemed to be in an especially taunting mood today, probably because today was the day that he went home with Hermione. Let me tell you, when Ron and Harry found out, they were NOT happy. In fact, they were absolutely furious. Ron even made a desperate lunge at Malfoy before Ginny caught him by the robes. Harry was a little more contained about it….if you can call pointing his wand at Malfoy and making him sprout pimples all over his face contained. Ginny, ever the perceptive one, sensed something going on with Hermione and Malfoy and had trouble containing her glee. Finally, Hermione might get some action.

Hermione dragged her trunk all the way to the back of the train and stomped into the first empty compartment she saw. Malfoy trailed behind her, grinning triumphantly after having managed to hit Hermione over the head with his owl's cage. Once in the compartment, Hermione smacked him over the head with a book. He sneered.

"You know Granger, you better start treating your guests a little more nicely! It's a privilege to have me staying at your house."

"Au contraire, it's a privilege that I'll even let filthy little slime like you into my house…and I'll treat you however I want. _Thank you very much,_" Hermione hmphed.

"Oooh, that sounds nasty," Malfoy smirked. "What are you gonna do to me while I'm asleep?"

"Stay as far away from you as possible you sick bastard," Hermione hissed.

"For your information, I'm as healthy as a hippogriff," Malfoy snickered.

"For your own safety Malfoy, don't talk to me for the rest of the ride. Let me sleep in peace and maybe you'll get off this train alive," Hermione warned. She turned around in her seat (facing it) and lay down on her teddy. Malfoy looked at her teddy evilly. Everyone knew she was VERY attached to it, after Harry and Ron had pulled a prank on her by taking her teddy bear and hanging it in the middle of the great hall. She burst in during breakfast in a fit of fury and saw it hanging by an arm. She quickly summoned it, then looked at Harry and Ron lividly. Let's just say they couldn't sit down properly for a week after that. Malfoy fully turned on turning her teddy bear into a mini-devil's snare. He resisted the urge to cackle evilly. He prepared himself by swishing his wand a couple of times. Finally, he recited the incantation and pointed at the bear. Nothing happened. The bear suddenly glowed a bright white and went back to normal. Malfoy furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Hermione must have put some sort of protective spell over it. He shrugged and picked up her book…_A Million Little Pieces_ by James Frey. Malfoy began reading the first page, and was soon deeply immersed in the book (A/N- it's one of the best books I've ever read… I really recommend it). Malfoy expected it to be extremely girly, but it was about a guy who had gotten drunk and done drugs so much in his life that the doctor said if he does it one more time it'll kill him. It was a muggle book, but Malfoy read it nonetheless. He was at the part where he goes to the dentist for the second time (one of the most disturbing parts of the book…the guy's really blunt about stuff I'll tell you) when the train came to a stop. Malfoy frowned at the interruption but put the book back at Hermione's feet and woke her up. She took one look at him and burst out in hysterical laughter.

"You tried jinxing my bear…didn't you," Hermione said between laughs.

"No I didn't." Malfoy said, a bit too quickly.

"Yes, you did it." It's written all over your face…literallyHermione laughed so hard she began to cry. Malfoy's eyes widened in fear. He quickly ran to the bathroom and looked at himself. On his face was a pimple formation that read _I tried jinxing Hermione Granger's bear and got my hair turned blue. _And sure enough, his hair was a bright electric blue.

'I am going to kill that bloody little bookworm,' Malfoy thought. He ran back to the compartment, but he found it was empty save for his trunk. He quickly carried off the train and saw Hermione tapping her foot impatiently with her parents standing beside her. They looked at him oddly, then had to hold back their laughter at his face.

"She was always very fond of that bear," Charles Granger chuckled.

"Granger, change it back. now." Malfoy gritted his teeth.

"Well, I'll take the pimples off your face, since my friends will wonder what I mean by jinx…and how you got that, but I think I'll leave the blue hair." Hermione grinned. "It looks great on you."

"Hermione, where are your manners? Introduce us!" Kate Granger giggled. Hermione glared at her mom.

"Mum, this is Draco Malfoy. Malfoy, this is my mum and dad."

"Please dearie, call us Charlie and Kate." Kate smiled.

"Uh…no. That's Mr. and Mrs. Granger to you buddy," Hermione silenced her mom.

"Hermione, don't be so cold. He's your guest," Charlie looked at his daughter sternly.

"Yeah, I'm your guest." Malfoy sniggered. Hermione looked ready to slap him.

"Whatever, I'm ready to go home." Charlie helped Hermione carry her trunk to the car while Malfoy carried his. They loaded their luggage in the back of the suburban and packed into the car. Hermione sat grudgingly next to Malfoy in the back.

"I can't believe I agreed to this," Hermione muttered, partly to herself.

"Granger, you know you'll sleep better at night knowing I'm sleeping in the room next to me," Malfoy said.

Hermione raised an eyebrow, "And what makes you think you'll be sleeping _inside_?"

"Hermione Jane!!" Kate scolded. "Didn't we ever teach you any manners?!" Malfoy snickered. Hermione smacked him over the head. Hermione gave him a look that plainly said, 'Another word and I'll kill you.' Malfoy didn't doubt it for a second. They soon arrived at a small house somewhere in the countryside off of London. It wasn't too small, but it wasn't too big either…it was a cozy-looking little two-story home. Hermione stepped out of the car and took a deep breath of the pine scent.

"Hermione, would you be a dear and show Draco to his room?" Kate asked sweetly.

"Sure mum," Hermione muttered as she and Malfoy grabbed their trunks. "Follow me."

She led him into the house and up the stairs. "Your door is the second one on the right, if you need anything I'm right across from you." Hermione said before slamming the door to her room. Malfoy made a face at her door before entering his room. He looked around and came to the conclusion that it was decent enough. There was a queen size bed off to the right side of the room. It had a blue comforter, acting as a sort of neutral color. The walls were a blue-gray and they had white trimming. There was a desk on the left side of the room, and next to it was a bookshelf. All in all, it was a rather bland room.

'Time to go criticize Granger's room.' He thought. He banged on her door and waited for her to open the door. Hermione ripped open the door.

"Yes?" She said quite impatiently. He walked into her room without saying a word. Her room was a bit like his, except the theme color was red, and there were posters and pictures everywhere.

"Well, your room is just _lovely_," Malfoy said mockingly.

"As is your hair," Hermione retorted snidely. She wrinkled her nose, "Speaking of your hair, we really need to do something about it. I can't have you looking like _that_ in front of my friends. They would think I was a freak for hanging out with you."

"So you're gonna change it back?" Malfoy smiled eagerly.

Hermione snorted, "Oh no, I've always wanted to be a hairstylist. You'll be my first subject."

"What do you mean?" Malfoy began panicking.

"It means I'm gonna style your hair in a way that doesn't make your blue hair look completely idiotic," Hermione said in a matter-of-fact tone.

"Granger, for your sake, you better not cut my hair," Malfoy stood menacingly over her. Hermione regarded him coolly.

"Fine, I won't. But you'll have to trust me," Hermione shrugged. Malfoy grumbled.

"Fat chance of that."

cheesy break thingy here

Draco Malfoy was sitting in Hermione Granger's kitchen in a chair facing a mirror. There was a towel around his neck and there seemed to be some sort of apron thing around him. Hermione had gone upstairs to get some of her mother's and her own hair care products. She came downstairs with a basket full of stuff. Her parents had gone back to work at the dentistry, where they were dentists….who fixed teeth…because stupid little kids ate too many candies and got cavities...damn those candies!!

"Okay Malfoy, are you ready?"

"No."

"Well too bad. I should also probably let you know that my friends Valerie and Aaron are coming over, so be nice." Hermione looked at him sternly.

"Whatever, as long as they don't try to touch me." Hermione rolled her eyes and pulled out some of her shampoo and conditioner.

"Lean back Malfoy," Hermione pushed his head back into the kitchen sink (eww why is she doing that in the kitchen) despite his protests. She turned on the water and began to lather his hair with some sort of flower-smelling shampoo and conditioner…she was feeling particularly cruel. Malfoy scowled as he watched Hermione dry off his hair with a towel. She rummaged through the little basket and pulled out a comb. She stuck it in her mouth as she stared at Malfoy's reflection thoughtfully. Suddenly, her eyes lit up as an idea came to her. She pulled out a small jar that had an odd, orange, gelatin-like substance inside it.

"What the hell is that Granger? Jell-O?" Malfoy looked at it with distaste as she scooped a large wad out of it with her hands.

Hermione frowned, "No, it's gel." She said, and with that she stuck the glob in his hair. Malfoy watched in a sort of horrid fascination as Hermione used the comb to begin sculpting his bright blue hair. Realization struck Hermione as she stopped working.

"I don't want you to see anything until I'm done," Hermione stated and went to dig in one of the kitchen drawers, she pulled out a piece of cloth and wrapped it around his eyes to blindfold him. As Hermione worked on Malfoy's hair, she struck up a casual (yet insultive) conversation. Malfoy heard the door open and slam…and assumed it was Valerie and Aaron.

"Hey Hermione!!" he heard a deep male voice greet.

"Hey you guys! I haven't seen you in so long," Hermione stopped working to give each of them a hug.

Valerie, a short blonde girl, looked at the hair gel in distaste. "Ew Hermione, are you putting Jell-O in that guy's hair?"

"It's not Jell-O it's gel…and his name's Draco Malfoy."

"Hermione, that's totally Jell-O," Aaron said skeptically.

"Fine, don't believe me. Anyways Malfoy…I'm done, voila!" Hermione removed the blindfold and Malfoy looked in the mirror expecting to scream in horror. Instead, he was rather satisfied with what he saw. He had a fohawk.

"Do you like it?" Hermione bounced eagerly.

"It doesn't compare to my actual hair, but it's not that bad," Malfoy shrugged. He stood up from the chair. "Ow, I have leg cramps." He complained.

"Oh shut up," Hermione regarded him critically. She frowned.

"What?" Malfoy sneered.

"It's just that, I don't really like how your new haircut clashes with your clothes, so we'll probably have to find you a new wardrobe." Hermione commented on his white polo shirt and slacks.

"What's wrong with my clothes now?"

"They suck," Aaron pointed out.

"Um, yeah. Hermione, this guy's in need of serious shopping." Valerie shook her head. Hermione smirked evilly.

"Well then what are we waiting for? Let's go." They all piled into Hermione's car, a black Mercedes. They drove to the mall and soon Malfoy found himself at a store called Hot Topic. Aaron and Hermione picked out most of Malfoy's clothes for him. His new wardrobe consisted of a bunch of black band shirts, jeans of all types (ripped, faded…), a studded belt, and a pair of dark blue slip-on vans. As they were leaving the mall, Malfoy and Aaron having semi-bonded…they ran into one of Hermione's friends.

"Hey Brittany!" Hermione hugged her friend. Brittany had long dark hair, a sort of whaley-face and she was a bit chubby. She dressed slutty. All in all, she wasn't very attractive…at all. Hermione could immediately tell Brittany found Malfoy attractive, and quite frankly she felt sorry for him. Once she had a hold on a boy, she wouldn't let go. She was very clingy and dependent, and apparently needed to be in a relationship to survive. She really hoped she could warn Malfoy before it was too late…oh no too late. Brittany had spotted him.

"Hi! My name's Brittany White," Brittany giggled. "Are you one of Hermione's friends from school?"

"Er…yeah. My name's Draco Malfoy," Malfoy said uncertainly, thrown off by the girl's forwardness.

"Nice to meet you Draco," she smiled flirtatiously, Hermione thought she was grimacing. Aaron rolled his eyes at Brittany, and could immediately tell Malfoy had been drawn in.

_He doesn't know what he's getting himself into_, Aaron thought. Valerie scowled at Brittany, she never knew how Hermione could stand the girl…let alone be friends with her. Poor Draco, he was gonna be eaten.

"Hermione? Do you think I could come over today? I would just looove to catch up with you! I haven't seen you in so long!" Brittany exclaimed, never taking her eyes off Malfoy.

"Um, sure."

"Okay great!! I'll see you tonight! Is it okay if I bring a few friends over?"

"Sure. I guess."

"Thanks!"

"Bloody hell Hermione, what've you done?" Aaron shook his head.


End file.
